Telling our stories....

One of the things that we learn to do in order to develop Emotional Sobriety is to "tell our story." Telling our story breaks the silence and allows us to feel our feelings and heal. In our speaking aloud what happened to us and the maladaptive behaviors that we learned and acted out, we are able to be received by the hearts of those who witness our telling. We learn more about our own histories and how to hold our emotions with more care and discernment. This is similar to other support circles, therapist/patient relationships and even the "witnessing" that happens in some churches when we speak of a spiritual awakening. It is an essential piece for coming into the light and experiencing the freedom of emotional sobriety.

I've been asked to tell my story in a particular environment for the purpose of highlighting the power of recovery. It's been a long time since I've done this and I find myself stirred up a bit emotionally. I think this is part of the power in our healing. When we speak aloud what has been challenging or painful in our lives, it becomes real and in being real, we feel our feelings around it. In its realness, we can see if from a new perspective as well and know that we acted out our emotions in various ways because we did not know what else to do with them.

When we practice telling our stories and feeling our emotions related to the ways we have been hurt and the losses from our lives, we create a deeper container for holding these emotions. It is healing for us. We learn more about ourselves. Not only do we see the maladaptive behavior patterns that we took on as a result of the co-dependency and addiction in our environment, but we can begin to see new ways to interact with our world. We also see our own progress and how far we have come. We have a choice about our behavior and learn to express our emotions with wisdom and maturity. Our journey of emotional and spiritual intelligence is vibrant and fluid.

Telling our stories offers the opportunity for releasing old buried emotions as well as compassion. We see ourselves in one another. We are able to receive their compassion and also see our own stories with compassion for ourselves. We see our own progress in developing emotional sobriety when we tell our stories and offer inspiration and hope to others.

A friend in recovery has often said, "When I compare myself to others, I always fall short. When I compare myself to myself, I see how far I've come." This is the greatest gift of telling our story.

Blessings to you as you find loving hearts to hold your stories,

Sally

Vulnerability and Maturity

One of the rewards of emotional sobriety is maturity. As we learn to hold our feelings inside for a time, give labels to them and then express them constructively, we increase our own emotional intelligence. We become aware of all of our feelings but are not ruled by them. We don't act them out in rage or internalize them by medicating with food or alcohol, shopping or care-taking others. We develop an internal capacity to hold them, seek counsel when necessary and create circles of support to express our emotions honestly. When we are able to do this, we then welcome the gifts within our feelings. Sadness offers an opportunity to connect with others. Fear teaches us wisdom and guides us in making safe choices. Our anger may lead us deeper to other feelings below or indicate a way that we have been violated. We use anger to set boundaries and protect ourselves.

Learning to be vulnerable, honest and direct with our feelings, needs and wants in our relationship with ourselves and others is a sign of the maturity based on emotional sobriety. We begin to attract people that we can be honest with and who encourage our forthrightness. As we develop e a sense of trust and safety within ourselves, we take more and more emotional risks to reveal who we really are to others. We then learn how to choose trustworthy people. This enables authentic connection, true vulnerability and we are well on the path to emotional sobriety.